startups and code

Day 7 - Finally home in Seattle.

Back to home

After a long layover in San Francisco, we are back in Seattle.  It is really amazing to witness the change of characters from New Orleans to San Francisco.  Leaving our hotel at a ridiculous time in the morning (around 4am), the front desk clerk was so friendly and we started talking and she had mentioned that her Mom went on her first flight ever this year to Seattle... then she went on sharing about the delay she had, and her phone had died, so she was worried about her Mama.  We talked for a while and then headed off to the airport... Arriving in San Francisco, people were busy head down and when we realized we had a layover, we had lunch and no interaction with 3 of the people we met, no socialization.  Only business.  Why is it that the west coast people are shut down, always in a hurry, and lack any depth of social interaction.  I have lived in the Seattle area for almost 13 years.  I never realized this as much as I did this trip.  Why didn't I realize it before?  Because I was a workaholic and didn't know what I was doing.  I thought I have almost forgot to ask people about themselves... Everyone up here wants to talk about themselves, but the thing is, we want to talk about ourselves too... so if everyone is talking, who is listening?  I've learned so much over the past year (yes, mainly due to being married) that

Listening is much more important than talking

We often forget that because we crave people who listen so we can share our stories, our experiences, our frustrations, etc...   But that selfishness, makes others want to shut down, since they can't share what they want.  So what I have learned recently?  I miss hearing stories of strangers... I miss hearing strangers that are comfortable enough to tell me about their Mama's first flight, or that while they are watching someone park wrong, they say, "It is too damn early for stupid, don't be stupid"  I loved that.  That is the South.  That is not the west coast, because everyone is so sensitive of offending people, or violating their civil rights, etc... Why surpress who you are?  If you don't like someone, that is ok.  Not everyone likes me.  I know that.  Not everyone I like, actually I respect people, but that doesn't mean I actually want to hang out with them.  If you have a good work ethic, treat others with respect, and are honest, then we will probably get along.  I really believe that one of the good ways to see someone's true character, go out to dinner and see how they treat the wait staff.   That is just one way... I was a waiter and a bartender for a few years and that job taught me more about people than any other job I have ever worked.  I think everyone should have a job as a waiter sometime in their early life, to realize what humility really is.   We claim we are humble, but all we do is talk about selves, and the way we try to form a bond with others is by competing in the story telling event.  We never need to compete, but that is what society in America has created... we must "win"... what if we don't compete and simply share.  What if we spent our time focused and driven to help our coworker be a success.  Help someone else shine.  Let your greedy dream die, and change it to see how many people you can help succeed.  If everyone did that, then you would have someone trying to help you succeed.  Arguments would end, because ego is how most of that happens.  We want to be right more so than friendly.  So stop being selfish and be friendly.  If a stranger says hi, say Hi back and ask them how are they doing... AND WAIT FOR A RESPONSE!  I love that reaction... someone says hi, and I say, How you doing? like a typical response but I wait.  they keep walking and then I wake them up out of their pattern and say, no really, how are you?  They get lost and are overwhelmed... it really is fun to help them.  Anyway, I've written enough today...  Have a good one, thanks for stopping by.